Deathless Love....

Your birth takes the
lives of living souls…
Leaving their beloved ones alone…
Nowhither the balm..
To cure the malaise
Research flunk to suppress
The malign in you…
Labs,thesis fails in front of you…
Sarcoma!Slay with a vengeance
Alas!without any purpot
Masses beg,cry and die before you…
But not their souls!

You may snatch lives..
But fondled memories
Can’t be nobbled…
You clamp ache in bod
But can’t quell..
The immortal mind...

Decade back,on this day...
You pushed momma to grave...
But you couldn't push
my engraved love to death.

Deathless are the
Boundless love&Priceless flavour..
Which I shed in Daughter’s diary’
Eternal are the traces of mama’s memories
In the chest of my nest.

Womb where i grew is lost..
But,vibe of the string
plays the soulful&swayful
music of love....
You took her away from me..
But you can't wreck the
immortal tomb...
inscribed in my heart....

Scars&Stars

Briny Scars&Bright stars
Barking scars&sparkling stars..
Seizes and pleases….
Lives jam packed with…
Marred scars&the myriad stars.
Marred scars mends us..
Myriad stars wends….
Scars smashes tender heart..
Withal thatch lessons of life.
Yet I wish for stars in life…
I count and count..up above..
Thereby I wish to erase
countless scars of my sky
How wonderful it will be…
If we could spell scars into stars?

Another translation from my side(i can guess ST's reaction!)From the malayalam movie Daivathinte Vikruthikal(Meaning God's Pranks)
The poem  unveils  the muse of an Anglo-Indian who had to leave his home in Kerala to France.

Lifting me from the cryptic sleep of twilit
Thy Gifted me with a dazzling quill of life..
Bestowed a sky for my wings..
Granted a nest in the peak of thou soul.

From where do i inhale your fragrance
Besides the bud&gentle breeze?
Where else i feel a river
where thy fills self with flow of life..
without a drop of shower?
Where else can i see a sky
where you sprawl yourself
with petal of dreams?

When the nightingale wails....
While the light brook fades...
In kindness when a Stone
Turns into a ripen fruit,
When the time slides...
Still..my heart is bind with you
I grope for resort in you..

Can't detach...
Can't detach myself from your heart..
Even when heaven's gesture knocks me.
Deep Peak where i Burn&Blaze
Deep peak where i glaze
In thy soul is my nirvana
Uniting with you is the immortal truth

Just for Vinsss

Translation Of The Song Mere Naina Sawan Bhadon
Movie-Mehbooba
Singer-Kishore Kumar
Lyrics-Anand Bakshi

My brimmy eyes with briny drops
yet i flutter for love

Loony heart unwitty of destiny's dice.
Achy lyric sways in my lips..
drives me to a distant...
A rotten episode for me...
yet entity lingers in me..
I throb...

A rusty tale it is..
Withal I brush up you
Monsoon swing still tilts...
Seasons move back&forth
with a hollow solace.
Yet i'm thirsty for love.

Time leaped since we parted
I saw you and time...
Glittering in the sky...
Hope & despair gambles..
Still Cradle heart craves ....

Light In Dark

Twilight followed
Broody nature sprouted
Doors closed and locked.
Napster folks all around
Curtains romped ...
I mused..

Dreamt towards bliss...
gazed through the grills
Moon beam smild..
Lamps kissed the trail..

No longer i waited..
Wobbly way tho......
Walked all alone.
Moon,lamp doodled..
Sirocco&Showers hugged
the Undeterred motion.
Heart whispered...
"Efface the dark,
Moon beam!the
way upwards"

Half way i agnised..
Dawn dawdled moon
Birds chirped..
Cheery sun tinged....
Day returns..
Doors opened
Rejoiced heart whispered..
"I saw light in darkness"

Rebirth!

Tears of pain, tears of joy
Starred my metamorphosis.
A new feeling of which
I never had a clue before.
Through the ladders of love and move
Smile and Sacrifice..
I climbed along with time.
Ah!Metamorphosis nestled me on this day!
From a darling daughter to a loving mother.
Rebirth!treasured forever.

A mom and babe blooms and ablooms
Two souls sprung in concurrence
From womb and endurance
World cites the birth and hails the rebirth!

A soul sown in the soil
what for?
laugh&play?
For weep&wail?
Barely to be alive?
To love a life?
To live a life
Spread the light?
Can a mortal say adieu
without leaving a mark,
when thy has sent being for a role?

An Ode to My Dying Motherland...

Lords tread,hunted&haunted..
Treasures torn apart....
Thy womb birthe great men
Mama's pride
fondled&fought for honour
wiped tears..
Beloved sparkled!

Behold!
Nomore sons
Many more sins
God absent
Godmen present
Brute kicks &
Burries Truth
Nidus nibbled,
Lap lashed
Momma bleeds
uncontrollably weeps..
Jewels in thou crown
wails&withers
Virtuous voices
vain&slitted
Ignorance seizes
Baron&beholden
Sinless slaughtered
Sinful survives!


Gaze Dear!
blazing fire
shalt extinguished
Pour strength...
Pervade truth
Hold the sword
Settle the scores
Smite unjust&brutish
There begins
A new DAWN..
To restore thy GLORY!

Trials&Tribulation

Caught up in a storm..
Yet unmoved by the disaster..
Dome turn to a deponent
Survived the famine and flood,
Overcame the hurricane!

Cooling showers wiped…
the dust & dirt.
Skies smiled in the
Company of Rainbows
And then came the sunny days!

Not a soul could demolish
The pillar
With an unwithered base
So are the human relations…

Together they weathered the storm..
And preserved the union.

Living souls & Begging
Move in Tandem..
Some beg for money…
Others for luxury
Few for words….
Rest for concern…

We pull close..
In times of drout
What a pity!
We kick&knock in the sequel..
Cognizant of neither
Consicence nor Conscious

We forget the past…
fails to forsee
Cloud nine makes us
Blind,deaf&dumb..
Ignorance leads us
All through…
Yet, we wish..
To be called as
A living Soul!!

Reminiscence

As your thoughts comes to my mind,
My eyes get filled with tears,
I wish you were here,
But,destiny has chosen something else for me…

The last stanza of the first poem I wrote "Mommy&Me"in my very first blog!Thats how I began my blogging journey.

When I resumed blogging after a long period of hibernation,I recommenced with another poem “Notes To My Mama”The concluding verses were…

When the pain of labour embraced me
Your memories were the balm
But no balm can heal
The wound of a motherless child
Time flies high
World changes..
But my love for you is eternal…

Yesterday,I hummed those verses …and I had a reason to do so…I received a cheque from Tehelka(quite unexpected!) amounting to 2500/- as contributor’s payment(For my contribution to Personal History Column)My first reward in life!While opening the cover,I remembered the dolorific past! And …I smiled… a gesture of gratitude to all the bitter memories…rather..I thanked my thankless past!

Time Pass......

I'm posting sawan's questionnaire
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. Something I have and YOU want?
4. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
5. Describe me in one word.
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Do you still think that way about me now?
8. What reminds you of me?
9. If you could give me anything what would it be?
10. How well do you know me?
11. How do you see me in the future?
12. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn’t?
13. Are you going to post this in your blog and see what i say about you?

I really dont know who would have time for this :-) time is sure a luxury these days!)

3WW Blush,Quiver,Tenderness

Bridal thoughts gently touched...
Conversing in silence began…
Hero’s thoughts flushed
It made her blush
Then came the lush…
Palanquin&palatial plushy
Quiver tinged her….
Windows,walls&litter
Saw her flutter&glitter
Strolled with a constant feeling..
of tenderness….
Began feeling him..
In her breath& dreams…
She longed and waited..


Was that a crush
Or love
Will he come to take her?

Au revoir or An Ode From a lost treasure?

Each day I renew my hopes..
To smile…
Nothing can prevent
the briny tears…
Rolls down my cheeks
Each drop reminds the
Sacrifices made for you.
Veil prevents me
From screaming.
My heart throbs
My voice chokes…
I wish…let the
World know YOU
But if i cry aloud..
I fear..the
world will reject YOU.
All that I do is
Uncontrollably weep…
For your eternal
Mistakes&masks…

Link to vins theory of relativity

(Even though i don’t forgive(explicitly)for the eternal mistakes..,somewhere ..i am doing the act of forgiveness..isn’t it Vins?the more we understand a person..the more we take care of not hurting..by doing boundless sacrifices to make them smile.so..tell me vins..do such people deserve forgiveness?Even if we forgive..can we forget?)

The tree is a synonym of 'HUMANE'...But,we are 'Humans'

Here M implies Mistakes
T implies Tears
S implies Sacrifices
and the paradox is the above three are eternal!

in spite of the eternal 'M'...and eternal 'S'.. how should i define myself? A humane?or just Human?

I am not a 'Banyan Tree" for sure..But i swear..i have been a lil casaurina...who gives a tinge of relief during scorching heat!

Vins can u create an equation using the above m,t& s?

My personal history says i'm weak in Maths ;)

Life flows with
Mysterious thoughts
boundless hopes&longingness
Veils conceals
You, me and our
Fake smiles and fears.
Nest of desire camouflaged
Few Gently spoken…
But Many muted
Yet,intense.
Some flutters With gravity…
Behind eyes…
Unseen for the world around.
Subtle nuances..of wishes…
Cannot be perceived
Or tinged by anyone
For they are locked
Deep inside forever.

Humanity is lost forever.Do we really feel the ache…or does it make any difference in our thoughts when millions of people suffer from poverty?Do we care when people around us lose their lives in the name of racism&religion?Aren’t we witnessing a degeneration in our value system?A humble act of .Love,Kindness can create a lot of difference.Albeit, we are wrapped by materialism.I wish to conclude this 3WW para with Albert einstein’s quote” “Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of values.

(This post is based on 3WW..Words being ache,difference and suffer)

Devouted Wish For A Dearie....

Time has stood
As a cojuror
For our
Friendship graph.
I wish..it should
Grow incessantly…
Even in the most
Bitter moments of my life…
Your thoughts can
make me happy.
On this special day…
I wish to say…
You stay farther
But you live close to ME
Happy Birthday Seema…

Tribute

A hidden desire fulfilled!This is a Tribute to my College(Govt Victoria College)where i 'grew'.Thanks to Sawan, the translation which i did for him ,made me to pen these verses.Else the desire would have remained unfulfilled forever...

Victoria!!
You evoke ...
A rapturous feeling..
In me
I was Born in your lap
You adopted this toddler
You fed me with knowledge
Pampered me with love
Nurtured me with wisdom
Inspired me to be brave
You gifted me a life…
Finally you gave me
An identity…forever..
Worthless will be..
this daughter’s dairy..
Devoid of Victoria glorification
Wish ..i should take,,
A rebirth in your throne..
To retribute
for the identity earned
What a pity!
Your Gifts
Can never be returned
How ignoramus I’m?
To retribute for your Greatness!

I am as delicate as an angel...
Yet,i fade each and every sec...
For I'm jaded with
Blades around my world..
I scurry and hunt for panacea...
Alas! all In vain...
And i'm awake at night...waiting
To get over the tunnel journey...


(I wrote this poem based on 3WWW , words being delicate,jaded and night)

A Day With My Friend....

Our day…
Starts with a smile…
And a quick prattle
I part my knitted dreams..
And fly high…
Thoughts pop in
scrawler creeps in
Share my quest for
The way to success…
I grumble for the
Misfortunes encountered…
And sheds briny tears
Lastly gets up with
A crystal mind.
I can be at my pace..
And even feel proud
For the challenges met..
I chat.on and on..
Away from the crowd..
Without any fake smiles.
To crown all
I can be myself!
Nothing can prevent
My friendship with…SOLITUDE
Indeed the best friend one can ever have!
…

Sequel To Voice Of A Dying Friend

We have become alien
Its been months..since
We Spoke to each other
The feeling of betrayal
Is killing me each and every moment
The confrontation is
Taking my life.
Let us try to settle
Our accounts..and wind up..

I stretched out my hand.
To make u smile.
But you gifted me tears …
Erpetually u chained me
With your possessiveness
Obsessions&Fear
Today you slack time
To wave hands
And I live in an eternal phanthom
That you will reciprocate
This scrawler’s scribble.
I drew a portrait of you
As a synonym of friendship
But you crushed..
Me into pieces.
I have fallen down..
Yet I shall pave way..
For you to rise from my fall…

Count Me..i’ll serve as a Beacon
Whenever in despair..
Look at me and Proudly Proclaim
"My CONFIDANTE abide afar
Yet she is Near to me”
Forever I wish to be one step head…
Indeed the scores can never be settled.

Voice Of A Dying Friend....

A voice from the past..
Is knocking you…..
We were yesteryears pals…
Anguish followed by silence
Has become the backdrop
I’m torn apart
I died… the moment i realised
you deceived me...with your delusion
I cried and wailed…when I
Encountered your pretensions and illusions..
Oh!My dear pal…
Why you broke me with your masks?
I'm bruised with your thoughts and veil…
Let us turn back the clock for a while...
I learned about your inside out...
I felt,thot and spoke high of you..
To my beloved ones...
Melancholy ensued you..
You scurried and rushed to me..
Stretching out my hand...
I said..
'My dear friend...
Wake up!Never let down
your hopes
No matter where you go..
Whichever path you walk
I'm there ...
To take you towards..sunshine.."


Darkness hovered over my head…
With heart filled hopes...
I looked around...
But u were nowhere near...
Without a pause..you flew away
I lost my past..
I'am losing my present...
Yet i live with an undettered faith ..
Sooner..you will empathize
this scrawler's scribble
And liven up my coming days...
For friends are angels..
You are the one and only comrade..
Who can add colour to my life….

Sways.....

I don’t have a picture of yours
Nor I wish to carry…
Your place is not on the
Walls made of bricks
And coated with paints…
For Momma is an
unique feeling..sensed
in each and every breath
Deep and Intense
are those..even
a life is too short
to glorify the feel...
so..how can a picture
manifest my feelings?
You merit a special berth ..Momma...
Where you dwells ….
Where your memories sways.
Like a pendulum...
In my heart.

Eternal Phantom

Beguiled Heart whispered
About your arrival…
I danced with joy,
combed my hair,
Wore new dress
of your favourite colour,
So many things to ask
Too many things to share..
Mama..where were you all these years?
Why you left me alone?
Coming age will you be with me?
Your wailing tot
has become mama
I missed you throughout
my dark and light
I cannot lose you anymore…
In a Moment...
Heard your footsteps..
Rushed to the door
To welcome you
With a tight hug
O dear! you deceived me once again
You are nowhere near…
I realized…
My perpetual Illusion!

In Praise Of A Priceless Posession

A song of dedication
Sung from the heart
Filled with the hopes that
You will listen wherever you are…

Great men and poets has
Sung the beauty of a mother
Iam neither a poet nor a singer
Iam a child who wish
To sing the song of my heart

Mother -
Is a symbol of patience,
Synonym of sacrifice,
Ocean of love and wishes,
Fusion of care and affection.
Sleepless nights of nursing me,
Patience to my prattles and burst outs..
Yet concealing the tears in a smile,
Soothing words and hugs.
How can i forget those memories?

Wish I could repay for the motherhood,
At last this vacuous hand realised
Mother is a priceless posession...
which cannot be repaid.
All that i can do is hum a hymn
in the name of your beauty.

Am I a Replica?

Am I a replica?
Haunting me
Ever since you left us
How can I be your replica?

Grandma saw you in me,
Aunt justified,
Uncle exclaimed!
Near ones choired
Finally….
Dad too felt!!!
I was your replica..
How can I take your place
When I’m hovered with diffidence?
But my mirror muttered
The truth..I'm not!
No one can
Fill your absence…
No one can take somebody’s
Berth in life…
Alas! We are ignorant
Of the Bitter truth!!

The Festival of
harvest and crackers came
Reluming the unfaded childhood
Memories of joy,fun and frolic..
Gone are those good old days….
Neither I’m a child now
Nor there is fun….
the memories lingers....

As the insipid life crawls
The bond of joy swirls and droops
In the throes of life
The heart throbs
But the stillness of mind
Keeps the heart alive!!

Harangue

Happiness...is a feeling which we get from the mystic bond around us.In our everyday life...we gain something and lose many things.If it is a material loss..we can recoup the same.But what happens if we lose our dear and near ones..or when relation breaks?Our heart bleeds...we moan over the broken relations...Can we redeem those?sometimes we can...and we try to saddle on the torn dreams.. No one can understand our grief and pain.Human relation is a unique feeling which cannot be expressed in words nor in actions...


HEART BREAKS AND THROBS.....

Happiness and joy dwindles
Choked with emotions...
Memories of beloved draw tears from eyes
Torrents flow...through eyes...
Nothing can prevent those briny tears
Shed for the withered relations

Our melody shrinks..and trembles
And fail to utter words....

Melancholy flows-head over heel
Crumbled heart sings a dirge
With a cadence of sorrow
and a dolorous expression..
along with a collapsed rythm .

Misery of clod captures the mind
Through the corridors of dark..
the mind crawls..thinking
of the broken relation..

Walls and windows remain
as a cojuror for the elegy and torment.

Head and soul ponders over the lost...
and curse the drossy life..

Scrawler And Sorrows

I lived in my world,
In my space,
Like a free bird…
Free in my thoughts and dreams
But sorrows followed me.

I prattled and smiled,
Laughed and clapped,
Romped to the rhapsody,
Still.. never free from sorrow.

I ate and slept,
Dressed, waved & strolled,
Wished ....I could be..
Free from sorrow.

I opened my eyes..
And gazed....
Saw the world around...
Began to think..
At last I forgot the sorrow in me.

Scrawler In Thoughts...

I am a scrawler in thoughts,

A scribbler in letterIs,

Thinking of the future,

Lives in the past,

Trusts the tomorrow,

And loses the present.

Once for all I realize

How true the quote is

“Time and tide waits for none”

Whenever I take pen to write,
Unknowingly my pen
Draws a portrait of yours….
I donno why?

When I saw the world of paradoxes…
My heart was echoed with your words.
You taught me only the real world..
But I fathomed reality is out of reach.

You told me to smile and laugh..
But life is not about smiles alone
I grasped the real life in tears
and it tutored me the reality.

You taught me to read and write,
You gave me talks on life.
Each day was a life for me
I drew out many things beyond
Finally I agnised life is
about living and survival

Notes To My Mama...

Today is my Momma's day...the day she left her loved ones....its been a decade .....On this day.....all that i have is just a few lines...Notes to my Ma...through which i wish to pay tribute..and as i write this note, a mixed feeling springs up....the feeling of a motherless child,dashing hopes of a friend and the pride of a fearless woman...A decade back,death took her away .....but for me, she is immortal.!...and i hold her tightly to my heart...coz..She is so special...One in a million,A jewel in the Crown...She was a wonderful Woman Indeed.!

Tall and teen tho
I was a toddler at heart
Wailed like a child
Who lost the way,
and felt alone in the crowd.
Hoped for a new dawn in my life…
But all I got was dusk and dark
Caught in the midst of clouds and thorns of life
Tears spoke my feelings
Silence spoke my mind
Yearned for a sunshine..until I realized that
the rays… were beyond dreams…
Your treasured memories were my constant companion ,
Which lead me in those clouds.
As the pages of life turned one by one,
I grew stronger..from a timid girl to a fearless woman..
And Sooner I found the lost glee.
When the pain of labour embraced me,
your memories were the balm.
But no balm can heal the wound of a
A motherless child..
Time flies high
World changes
But my love for you is eternal.....

My Hidden Feelings

The dawn chorus awoken me
With your thoughts.
Those thoughts spilled hopes
In my benumbed mind.
Morning breeze carried
The messages sent by you.
Though u were far away
U were near and dear to me.

Each day passed with
Fondling your memories.
Inhaled the fragrance of your love
Those actions kept me happy
It made me smile....
But i wept thinking of you.......

When i was down
I felt isolated from the crowd
And became oblivious.
Slowly solitude captured my mind
But i pretended to be happy.

The agonies made my heart
Heavy with unbearable pain.
I sobbed.....
I was in need of you.....
I craved........ for your love and care
I felt like lying........
On your lap.....
And broken down realising
That u will never come back to me.

I donno where you are
But i can smell your presence around me
Where ever you are
Kindly shower your blessings on me
And spread the light in my life
And make the path visible for me.
I implore you
To remain as a beacon in my life
As my journey is about to begin
Towards a new direction
I wish i should reach
The meaningful destination.

My life began from you
You will continue to remain forever
In my breath,words and feelings
And i cannot erase your thoughts from my mind.

Whatever i do
Iam doing it for you
As you are my dream
And your dreams are my mission

Mommy&Me

When i was a child
i knew her only as my mom
as i stepped into my teen
she turned as my friend

A Friend,
with whom i shared moments of joy and sorrow
A Friend
with whom i shared my thoughts, words and feelings

A Friend,
whom i admired and adored with pride
who stood by me
in all my endeavour

Neither she showed gestures of love
nor expressed any emotions
but i found the same in her
eyes and actions

She taught me the virtues
and showered the freedom on me
always walked with me
with inspiring thoughts and stories

She opened up my mind
which was filled with fear
which made me to think
about ambitions and aspirations

Whenever i failed
her encouraging words
made me smile and confident
to accomplish my dreams and goals

As months and years passed
the bond of friendship grew stronger
and a feeling of pride emerged in my mind
whenever i thought of her

When she began to dream
nature came in it's way
with a dreadful disease
she was pushed in to bed

Her last phase was
Flooded with sufferings
Still she stood valorous
Without any signs of despair

Death took her away from me,leaving me alone
still she lives in my heart
like a lamp which shows light in darkness
and gives me hope and courage when iam down

As her thoughts comes to my mind
my eyes get filled with tears
i wish she were here
but destiny has choosen something else for me...................

Yes,I fulfilled that promise!! Months back,i gave an assurance to my friend,that sooner or later i would resume blogging in a new space- Daugther's diary...Today i fulfilled the promise..I donno whether he remember ...but i hope he will read this note.